•June 23, 2009 •
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he had emailed me that he wanted me to spend my lunch on the phone with him. i pondered this for a few minutes only because it has been so long since we last talked. i wondered if his voice was going to make me want to come as it had so very many times in the past. i needed something to break up this week and i emailed him back with “ok” and my number since i was sure it was lost from his memory and phone.
i waited.
i waited.
i waited.
while i waited i watched porn. i hadn’t seen porn since i watched a really bad one with R. i knew when it was well past noon and heading towards 1:00pm that this call was not going to happen so i had to take matters into my own hands or hand to be specific. i shoved my vibrator down my panties and nestled it against my clit. i was soaking wet and i needed to come. i rubbed and pressed, rubbed and pressed. hoping with an ounce of hope that my phone would ring and i would be coming in his ear within seconds.
i pushed and slid the vibrator against my clit and without much warning i erupted crying out to the world pleading for a God. i panted and pressed the vibrator again forcing myself to come again and again.
it wasn’t the best nooner i have had but i couldn’t waste it once the flood gates were opened.
Posted in Masturbation, Toy
•June 19, 2009 •
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i love looking back on a past weekend and thinking about the things we do. it always puts a smile on my face. i will remember a sentence, a word, a sound or a touch. several times this week it lead to the uncontrollably need to come. i enjoy the fact that my cunt is ruling me because for those moments i know how a guy thinks when lead by his appendage (it’s that always?).
it’s his touch that sends me nerve endings singing down to the inner depths of my core. anyone could touch my arm or back and it would be a normal touch. it’s when HE touches any part of me that makes it feel like instant foreplay and i want him to fuck me to exhaustion.
when we kissed last weekend, it was intense and teeth were scraping against it each other as we tried to devour one another with our hungry mouths. those moments of grabbing, biting and desperate need that make me want to come begging for him to fuck me.
the mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Posted in Grace, Masturbation, Thought
•June 16, 2009 •
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since i just ended my night with a self induced orgasm, i noticed lately when masturbating that i can only have one orgasm at a time. if i try for a second one immediately after, i get this plateau feeling. i used to be able to rack them out up past ten in well under five minutes. i wonder if it’s because i don’t masturbate as obsessively as i used to due to saving it up for my weekend sins. either way, it’s frustrating to actually have to wait a few minutes to get a proper orgasm. maybe i need to go back to masturbating excessively to get back into the swing of things since my sex drive seems to be on the rise again. ahh the joys of hormones and aging.
now i am thinking about one day being a cougar that is not into younger boys but the older ones. i don’t know the term and for some reason i probably don’t want to know it, so don’t tell me. i will just continue to enjoy my time with the older boys and call it a day.
note: HOWEVER, i do not seem to have a problem with multiple orgasms when i have a physical partner. it’s just the solo act that is baffling me at the moment. now i am thinking i might need to go back to phone sex because that always seem to do the trick of self inflicted multiple orgasms.
yes, i am up late. yes, this is a ramble. yes, i will end this now.
Posted in Grace, Masturbation, Thought
•June 5, 2009 •
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it’s Friday, the day before i get to see him. i have sex implanted on the foreground of my thoughts. i can’t count how many times i have resisted the urge to just masturbate and come. it would be a disappointment for me to just cave in when it’s so close to Saturday. if it were any other day i would have given into to my primal need.
i feed from the anticipation and it will make me even more sensitive to the experience. on the other hand i may end up being a rapid bitch in heat slamming against his cock to make sure i am getting every bit of what i need. either way, i don’t want to give in so easily to an orgasm.
Posted in Grace, Masturbation, Thought