My Fetish

i wanted to take a moment to explain the evolution of my love for breathplay. the main reason i wanted to write this is for those that are afraid of it or interested in it and i just want to put some caution especially for those that are going to try it.

the definition of “breathplay” is

A form of play where the lack of oxygen is used for stimulation. Sometimes done alone. This form of play is extremely dangerous. Especially when done alone. Many have died in this form of play.

a more in depth description, i found on Unfettered.com:

Many people are afraid that by giving information they will encourage someone to play this way and if that person ends up dead they will feel responsible. This strikes me a lot like the argument of those that say if teenagers are kept in the dark about sex they won’t do it. The documentation of erotic asphyxiation goes back to the 1600’s at the very least. It was used back then as a form of therapy for those suffering from impotence.

In BDSM, breathplay refers to the practice of restricting or controlling the flow of air and thus oxygen into the body of one or more participants also known as asphyxiation. The rush that is a result of the lack of oxygen in the brain is the kick that people into this kind of edge play are after. The myth that a hanged man is coming at the moment of his death is common. The adrenalin rush from the experience of real life danger and the dramatic notion of dying in someone’s hands adds to this. The techniques used to achieve this vary from scene to scene and thus the level of risk involved also varies. However most acknowledge that under most circumstances this practice is firmly within the definition of edge play. Asphyxiation can occur as a result of restricting ones airflow by a rubber mask, a plastic bag, or by choking.

Especially autoerotic breathplay can be considered as very dangerous and every year people die because of it. The often-underestimated risk of temporary paralysis as a result of lack of oxygen in the brain is sadly a reason why people can’t get up and die of asphyxiation. Another risk is fractures in the trachea because of the applied pressure. If one is careful that is actually the least risk. But alas too frequently people accidentally die from the fact that our body tries to compensate for the lack of oxygen in the brain and this can cause the heart to flutter or because of the direct pressure on the nerves in the carotids that can cause the heart to stop. Apparently it is not easy to resuscitate these arrhythmias. This can occur as quickly as 10 seconds. (Above from: www.dictionaryofeverything.com)

LET’S DISCUSS Strangling This usually involves compression of the carotid arteries to prevent blood from reaching the brain. Suffocation This involves somehow reducing the level of oxygen in the air available to breathe (usually gradually). Breath play The process of making someone more conscious of, directing, or using breath in play. Role-playing/Psychological The safest way (Making your partner aware of their breathing), verbal domination of breathing Practical Gas Mask, Scuba, straw or snorkel etc

WHY Bondage, oxygen deprivation effects (a lower amount of oxygen available [hypoxia] or no oxygen [anoxia] you start to feel a little dream like and light headed), fear & risk, submission, masochism, trust, dominance, sadism.

RISKS Physiological, emotional, legal, possible long term health risks, common Injuries (Statistically, those that die of this play are usually playing alone and using a mechanism that doesn’t protect them in case of fainting.)

i started to have this fascination when i used to grab E’s hand and place i over my mouth. i am sure the first few times i did it, it did not set well with him and seemed unsettling. i would wait till things were rather heavy and primal and he would willingly do it while i held my own breath.

over time he would push his hand up closer to my nostrils so it would hinder my breathing. slowly a finger would come over and press my nose down. i believe just within the last year i would put his whole hand over my nose and mouth. he seemed more comfortable with it by then. i am also sure a conversation came up about what i wanted from him or what i was starting to get in to.

i recall an afternoon after we had a discussion about my joy of breathplay, i laid on my back with my head on stomach in black panties. we spent a good chunk of that afternoon with me purely getting off on him just covering my nose and mouth repeatedly. i got so wet from him doing this and i remember coming over and over.

the escalation after “the talk” was pretty rapid. E was eager to please and experiment with this new sensation. i believe he wrapped his hand around my throat next and i believe this started after i pierced my nose and he was unable to cover my nose with his hand during the healing. that was a rush and a different feeling. i could still slightly breathe, but he was cutting off the blood to the brain. i am not sure when or how the scarves came into play. i just remember they were a great addition to the play. i remember bruising on my neck in the beginning and having to call in sick from work to “hide” the obvious. however, bruising has been next to null lately, at least on the neck.

just recently we have experimented with plastic wrap and wet paper towels. you may think the wet paper towels is silly, but you lay there and try to breathe with one over your face. use the extra long, heavy duty type. it is a trip to try to breathe while aroused and getting a decent lung of air with a wet paper towel sinking into your nose and open mouth.

everyone barks about trust when doing any type of pain or bondage play. of course there is trust, i have known E since 1992. we have an interaction that i feel is perfect for exploring sexually. he knows that when he is choking or strangling me if my hand taps his arm he lets up. we have a safe word, but as you can tell it is hard to use during breathplay. he can tell when i have had enough when i slap him or gasp under his hand for air. i trust him when he whispers to me, “a little more”, because it just gets me off that he pushes the limits with it.

i have “passed” out from breathplay and i have written about it. it is not something we try to achieve each session. however, it was different when you are waking up with a man cumming on your what appears to be lifeless body.

by all means i am not saying for everyone to run off and try this at home. nor, am i going to be the expert on this subject. i am glad to answer any questions and can go without negative remarks. i like what i like and we all have our “somethins”. this is mine amongst some others. please be safe in all that you do and make sure you research what you are doing when you try something new.